There’s this feeling that I am having at the bottom of my chest, and its a heavy feeling. It’s something that just started this week when I first spoke with my friends well missionaries who are basically my only “friends”. Its just I feel lost I don’t know where i stand in the world again. I seem to get lost every once in awhile when I am missing something in my life but I always seem to find it. But I mean I have a job, a year of school under my belt and my mission call what could I possibly need? So all of sudden on my Ipod this song comes on. Its called “Budding tree” and I had totally forgot about this song and everything came back. I miss my best friend. We don’t really speak and I am leaving for two years soon and doubt we will ever speak again and I ignorant to what will happen. But this stupid song omygosh it’s just insane. How all of the amazing moments play in my head like videos. And how i think right now i am just going through the epiphany of transitioning this little kid/teenager to and adult. To doing everything that I had thought and dreamed about and now are occurring. And as usual I am scared. I look back at my life and kind of how everything has been a series of crazy decisions that have led me to so many highs and lows that at this point i shouldn’t be scared of anything. But at the end of the day this is just me rambling about my feelings of nostalgia, fear, sadness but at the same time with optimism and anxiousness. Uhgg just 70 days to go..

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